


The Radio Playing in the Wasteland

by TheFanficArchives2024



Series: The Wasteland is better then Hell by 10% [3]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series), Helluva Boss (Web Series), Wasteland (Video Games)
Genre: A sense of humour, How Do I Tag, Mentions of Rape, Multi, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Wasteland AU, dark to my extent, its a wasteland, mentions of eating people, people being prev's
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27162427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFanficArchives2024/pseuds/TheFanficArchives2024
Summary: 11/22/2107: A man known to fix and work with radios is hied togo east from LA to new ortolans11/26/2107: A Demon hires IMP to watch the manthe man recruits a young medical smart ass also from LA12/2/2107: The target is the man Alastor Leblanckeep eye on him to see if he's old self did a last fuck you to us allsend the princess and her girlfriend (I'd ship them ok Nic!)reincarnation report subject 1933-2082name: Alastor Leblanc (same name as last time(maybe a different last name though))(for a murder in the 30's he sure is somehow less killer(only in self defencelike most people inThe Wasteland of the old USA))
Relationships: none so far
Series: The Wasteland is better then Hell by 10% [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878457
Kudos: 2





	1. the midway starting goose

How long has it bean?

about four weeks maybe

sure getting pass the L.A. rad storms where hard 

but the current way we're going was odd 

me and Al where in some desert landscape 

to be exact some junk yard of wood and scrap metal

a wooden bored on top a car that didn't work anymore

"well at least we found some canned food, right"

"True, true should we camp here then?"

"well I guess so, already has some beds and a fire pit"

"great! so now that-"

Al was cut off by this kid (sixteen or so)

running to us and yelling at as

"what are you doing-"

he tern's to look back around his shoulder

"shit, listen me and my roverpak, where finding chicks to take when we found her...

she had the jump on us so we try to cut her and call it quits, but she-ah fuck she's coming I'll tell the story to

the one that lives but you better arm up!"

the kid pulled out a rifle and ran to the roof of the car

Al pulled out his revolver "this will be...interesting in a we're dead sorter way"

he still had that shy wit about him

I hid behind the car with my shovel in hand 

Al hid in a pit not far from the junk camp

after a minute she walked to our location 

'she' was a tall woman with black eyes and 

odd clothing (maybe it was the style of it)

after one second the kid fired right into her skull with a bang

"got ya you friend killing bitch!"

the body was laying there for a bit

Al left the pit to see what had happened and then fired two shouts in her head

I got up to ask

"the hell was she?"

the kid answered

"like heck I know but we should run, she might leave us be when she gets up"

so then the kid started grabbing some objects in the camps area

Al grabbed the bag of junk and food we had 

and we walked about a hour or two to the east 

the sun was going down, we had a camp fire

and a hide fur skinned blacked I was using 

while Al and the kid talked 

"so got a name kiddo?"

"ok weirde way of calling me young but, most just call me goose but my real name's Charles"

"why goose?"

the dark brown haired kid with the long jacket spoke 

"I have a long neck and I piss off people, it's just a 'charm' I have with people"

after about a few seconds Al spoke up

"So... when we meat you said your gang 'cut her' what do you mean by that?"

"oh! simple its a thing we do when we're done with a girl, you cut her wrist or throat or you just take her with you"

"oh...so she came back to life after that how?"

"I'd say Rich just did a bad job but, that woman was evil with those black eye's and when she came to 'life'"

Charles looked a bit sadden and said

"killed three fourth's of us and she bit down on them ate them like a dog or a honey badger"

"oh...well that's disturbing" (Author's note: this Al is not a cannable, yet or not I don't know)

"yer well where are you two heading? and could I tag along I can shout a rifle and hit a persons brain or guts"

"heh all right first yes you can come along and two me and Malcom are going east,

him to Colorado to see his brother and I'm heading to Louisiana"

"why?"

"well it started when I was repairing some of the radio gear at 'my station' in L.A. when this big shot looking punk showed up 

he said he'd pay me and anyone helping me to go there and find this book and anything about the owner of the book,

the after a week Malcom and I met and then you umm Goose showed up...I'm not shore about that lady thought"

"well then I'd like to see this thought to the end, unlikely that she or anything else like her will show up right, boss"

"oh no place just call me Alastor, Alastor Leblanc or Al for short Charles"

"well just call me goose, Lee blank"

"fine goose but now you're go to sleep, ha!'

Al slid to the fur rug of a blanket 

"wait you call dibs on that... fine go to fur rug Alistar Lablacnk"

"I'll let you win that one goosey"

after that Al lade down on the fur rug a few inches away from Malcom as goose kept a eye out for something to happen

a few miles (kilometres) away from them

"sir can we leave now"

"why's that Moxxie you scared of the fact that your staring at three semi good looking men"

"No sir! I mean the fact that our client went back to hell but I'm stuck with you and her"

a distends away Loona was trying to get her phone to work in the god damn desert 

"well A the second client that wanted us out in this dyed out shit stain is because he's a overlord and we need the money

and B if I acted like I'm working I don't have to talk or answer a call from Stolas"


	2. the 'brother fucker' (and sister)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang cume across  
> a camp  
> with these rich siblings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you get insulted by anything  
> remember this is like hell  
> most people go off there gut or human nature  
> most people he  
> are mostly dumbasses

It's was a day ago 

since I joined up with

Green shirt (Malcom I think) and Lablank (I'm going to call him that for shits and giggles:)

we're been talking about how and where to go 

"listen Al colorado is north from here

we can join up with a caravan and convince them to go south-west

so we'd be in the safety of a truck"

"its a waste it be easy to find a car here and go to new ortolans"

"listen my brother is there, he's with the ranger's

and plus we could get a up grade from a revolver and shovel"

"Malcom if we go to new ortolans now the

punk suit will be paying us a fortune worth a life time

if we go quick we'ed have the best of gun and not one's from a sly-"

"don't insult my family! you...I'll come up with something later"

Al started to make a compromise

"you know what Malcom, oh goose you'll love this

if and I mean IF! a another one of thous demon looking things

try to kill us we'll go"

yer like hell that will happen twice 

**two hours later Alastor POV**

We saw a camp site in a distance (well more smoke coming out of a pit in the ground with junk placed about the area)

"should we see who's there?" 

goose ran off muttering "just in case" behind a made sift wall out of old house appliances 

"so which one of us will also hide-"

Malcom ran to some sort of tire fort with a tin sheet as a roof

"of course...well Alastor time to, well no die"

I crept forward to the pit

hearing two people talking

"well sister she isn't in this part of the desert"

"why did we have to shake her fucking hand like idiots"

there camp had these tents with a symbol on it-

oh no way Malcom would be proud

they looked human but there skin was a unhealthy grey

and there hair the girl had this white greyish hair

and the brother had this moss no that ain't it

they wore this rich looking out fits (too clean, no dirt or blood stains)

then they looked a bit tense like someone watching you (no shit Leblanc)

then they trend there heads around to see me (not hard the sun was still up)

I spoke up 

"oh hello dear sir and ma'am, I'll go now, right?"

I tried to reach of my revolver flashing back to a old film I saw in a almost over grown movie theatre 

'aim for the heart'

well with my aim and chances and if goose said that these's things comeback up

maybe a head shot or gut

"oh who are you same homeless cowboy"

"well we'll just end your life mortal"

as fast as I went ii grabbed the revolver and fired twice in to the male one

taking that as a cue goose and Malcom run up to the pit 

Malcom sliding in and repeatedly bashing the shovel into the male things back and skull

"hah not time to brag but I called it!"

goose (or Charles) jumped into the pit walking the butt of his rifle in the face of the female

and then firing a shot in her face 

"word to your mother brother fucker"

he was gaining at his insult to both of the human looking things 

**30 minutes later Malcom's and Narrator's POV**

Ha! yes! I won bitch's!

it was a small victory but what the hell its fun to brag

we'd dug groves to the siblings and I felt lucky so I 

grabbed a bottle of fruit wine (I buy a full case of Snake Squeezins when this 'punk suit' pays us)

"so north then?"

"well Malcom won so yes"

"real convenient ani't it? for us finding them"

"well if we make it to the rangers in Colorado then we'd have a upgrade at least

thought the caravan trip will likely delay us"

"but we'd have more people to shout the things"

"alright" Alastor started to yon 

"well at least we got the creepy symbol of the tents"

"well you better hit the turf I'll be one watch"

"ok but, I'll stand watch tomorrow deal"

Charles shakes Al's hand and sat by the tier fort well there was a mat

there and in fifteen minutes he was sleeping

** Narrator's IMP POV **

after all three of the dibshits are asleep

the two Von Eldridge dug there way of the foot deep graves (Malcom was lazy and bragging)

two I.M.P. workers where waiting for the two 

one was a 'spineless jackass'

and the other was this hell hound bitch (in both meanings

I mean the dog part more then I mean bitch, bitch)

"where can we pay for a hit?"

"ugg, just talk to my boss or someone else but not me"

and with a grin the bitch said "brother fucker"

(Author's note: she saw goose say that)

the two left though the portal out of the dusk of night 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the brother fucker 'joke'  
> is going to be a running joke in fic's  
> with them Wasteland au or not  
> because to quote the same film that inspired the gag  
> 'but [redacted] you it's cool'


	3. a junk town (with a F**king WEED FARM!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter and setting up some area would building

Me, Malcom and goose 

were walking north until me reached

a DIY wall/gate (what fun...)

we would have gone around but well...

"eh! Tom, Jon, Ron! we got some new comers"

the man yelling this was sitting on a couch with his 

dark blue helmet, brown scarf and a dark brown leather jacket

a woman was standing on a junk guard tower 

"no shit Swan let in I'll tell Mr. Chow that he might get-"

a young man maybe in his 20s in a tank top started to intervene 

"don't tell them that"

he was looking at us 

I spoke up

"umm sir if we'er to come in what is this place named"

(I sound so wired when in a situation like this)(A/N like a 20s radio host;)

"well 'sir' if you ask, its called...oh yer this part is called The Farm and the other is named The Blue Dragon or TBD

now go in and head north east right next to a big ass pit can't miss it"

we decided to walked though the gate

this area of the town had four shacks two where probably for housing 

two west from us next to a farm plot (most likely the name sake of the place)

goose trend to me and Malcom 

"I'm heading to the upper area to look for that pit"

Malcom replied 

"fine then goose, I'm going to ask what they grow here for food"

then they looked at me 

"well then, but after we should check on that Chow person"

then it was settled we split up to look around 

**1 hour** later

so they still gone hmm I'm bored 

maybe sitting here on the cruddy couch was a boring idea 

well to shay I'm great at thinking of ideas like 

is there meaning? is their life after this? who is the attractive blond sitting on the chair next to me is-

wait, what! I looked at her in a wired silence (not in that way goose!)

her skin was to pale and well something felt off about her a bad omen maybe

I decided to speak up to break the silence 

"well hello ma'am" (oh course my voice sounds wired again)

she look to me and said 

"oh, hi! I'm Charlie"

"well Charlie what brings you here then"

she looked uneasy when saying 

"oh I'm checking up on someone, just in case-"

I think she was waiting for a reply 

"they died?"

"oh, nonono the opposite"

"ok? well then that's odd isn't it ma'am"

(A/N this Al wasn't brought up in new ortolans so his accent is different, still has that cariama to it(still sounds like the nomad demon him)  
  


_Malcoms PoV_

"so yore saying you grow weed here, holy crap I haven't seen this stuff since Hollywood"

I was talked to operantly the right hand man to this gang or 'roverpak' (same thing)

the right hand was a tall musclier man with sunglasses and a beard with the name Ajeet

"that's right and some of the land is for food but mostly we grow the marijuana as a bargaining chip

that's why the dragons don't treat us like the rest of the gangs out side and in of the city"

"city? why no build there?"

"well mostly because the gangs there are mostly raiding scavengers looking to kill you,

there are some gangs there that won't kill ya like the Our gang, yes that's there name 

run a theatre hell they probably the laziest gang in that shit hole of a city"

"could you tell me abut the dragons then?"

"well they have bean a roverpak for years hell they use to have the other roverpsak's paying tribute

by running a danm power plant, but"

"but?"

"well a while back some rad storm covered that part of the city,

and you can't go past that part the city as well the clouds too thick and spread out to go east

then after that mr.chow left and took our gang as in us as a barter chip and killed any raider gang

that past them mostly to arm up and gain some reputation out of it"

"whoa really?"

"true as hell and honest to god my friend"

"so how did your gang start growing weed?"

**gosses PoV**

so after walking around in that junk pit 

(apparently most of the outskirts of the area was a part of a town 

but now its berried in the sand, mud and dirt)

the upper area mostly had tents, the pit and this old building bout two story's high

but the rest were covered of caved in by the desert

but I decided to find Al and Malcom and go meet with this chow guy

I found him sitting in a old cloth couch

after almost calling to him 

I saw him with this gorges blond chick 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to note   
> Al is still mixed race (I'm don't know if I should change witch mix it is a keep it cagin)  
> goose is a perv  
> Malcom has used weed before (wasteland 2 Hollywood had a weed shop)  
> Chaggie is in this au not Chalstor   
> Mr.chow is a reference   
> Al's reincarnated self likes to fix up radios and sell them so he can tell people about his radio station 
> 
> the consented of Alastor is living in the past so move him up to a modern era of losing any music before the nukes


	4. Chow's job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some plot  
> and charter traits shown   
> and a new 4th party member

Me, Al and Goose

walked to the main building 

(a old tower but most of it was caved in)

we climb up the ladder to a office of sorts 

it had old junk and some decor but there 

was a man sitting behind a wooded dining table 

with paper and more junk on the table 

the man was a white man with dirty blond hire and a beard

that was a darker tone then the hair, he was wearing

a old US army jacket and a dark blue cap with the words SFPD on it 

"Jesus Christ finally, toke you 45 minutes of doing Jack shit to come to the Dragon's HQ!"

the man, Mr.Chow had a thick southern accent and was a tad bit pissed off 

goose spoke up

"well we're here now so tell us what the hell you wan't"

"fine-Tom put the damn gun down, this one's got ball and gets to the damn point!"

Al, goose and I turned around to see a man

with a bleach blue blazer with a red neck tie and a dirty button up shirt 

the man him self had blond hair and was wearing a busted up gas mask

that covers his mouth but showing his nose and eyes 

"sorry sir's order for travellers"

"no problem gas man" goose was a moron with nicknames 

Mr.chow declared "so you three want a job, well I'd sent my right hand man

but he is the job so you get my 3rd in line for the procession, Thomas Wright (A/N head cannon name)

or Tom, he will watch you, and if he die's, well you'd hope he won't because even if its from a god damn

heart attack you all will be to blame, You got that!"

"yes"

"yeparoo"

"sure think Chow"

"good, now the job is easy, find out where or what happened to my right hand"

he pulls out a drawing of a breaded man with long hair swiped to the side of his head

and a tweed jacket with a random white t-shirt 

"if you find him dead bring back evidence and Tom will know when your trying to fuck me.

they went west a week ago, so Fuck off! and take Tom with you and if you bring nothing 

to me I'll have ya'll thrown into a rad pit and watch you'll burn to a crisp with your eyes melting a green puss."

we left the town after the fifth death threat.

Tom's PoV 4 hours after the meeting

OK Tom your sitting on a dead tree with a gun toted kid, peachy 

"Ideal woman, go!" (me and the kid where the only ones awake to keep a eye on fluffy vest and green shirt

"busty blond's, now you"

"fit and foreign" the kid was a perv, suits me fine 

"really kid-"

"goose"

"goose, fit women ain't going to cut it now busty girls is where it is"

"like hell they could live up here"

"sexist much"

"fuck no, I just hate there hair colour, to be honest you'd go better with

black or brunette hair colours or a colour full dye"

there was a silence in the camp maybe goose was sleepy or some shit

"so why the mask?"

"oh!" I took said mask off 

"I forget to take it off, hell, its as broken as hell's asshole"

"heh really stubble face"

"you need to make better nickname and insults"

"heh, all right then Tom wrong"

"its Wright!"

"fine *yawn* well I'd better hit the turf"

"all right Lose Goose, but the Girl off is still in full effect"

"Heheheh all right Tommy wrong"

"yer night to you to then"

goose went to sleep after that (he slept on a matt and some animal fur blanket

after that I joined in on the hide bed of fur

Well Tom at least this job will probably be easy, probably

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tom and goose are pevs (there going to be bro's)   
> Who do I ship Tom with Idk its probably not going to be in this one   
> but maybe Molly or Katie killjoy one or the other 
> 
> also party favourite songs (for this au because 3/4 are reincarnated sinners (idk about Malcom)
> 
> Alastor's is Come on Eileen (Dexys Midnight Runners)  
> Malcom's is California dreaming (The Mamas & The Papers)  
> Goose's is Down under (Men at Work)  
> Tom's is The Wanderer (fallout 4 song or Dion)


	5. Alastor the repair man of L.A.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a trip to find most likely dead people

"So ideal women, Go!"

"what!"

Tom was talking mainly to Al but Malcom Chimed in

"oh I know, goth and curvy"

I added my comment 

"fit and foreign"

Tom then spoke 

"Blond and busty, well Al we said ours so go on Eastwood"

Tom gave him the nickname based on the actor in those old western films

hell I haven't seen the film in years 

"well go on Eastwood"

"its Leblanc, but...someone that can work self efficiently at hold there own in a fight,

also can take a good joke"

Malcom then said "what no looks, well all righty then"

"heh maybe but to be honest one step at a time first we find that gang right?"

we talked for a wile

we stetted up camp 

it's late afternoon now you could hear the cackling of the fire

and the smell of canned food (beats and tomatoes, I fucking hate beats) 

Tom was walking without the gas mask and armed with a old hunting knife 

Malcom was wise cracking about how to eat a snake with a 'seagull' (what the hells a seagull)

and Lablank was sitting on a brail with a screwdriver and a small box maybe a walkman?

or a radio

he had scars on the lower arm and forearm I had to ask

maybe he kept failing on a quick draw

"so Lablank, how did ya get the scars?"

he looked up from the small box

"I'm not going to correct you, but the scars well you name it

cutting on metal object, getting shot at, fixing things here and there

like radio's, engine's, weapon's, generator's, building up strutters

and I even fixed up a radio tower, though its probably been looted

and scraped for part's, heh maybe I'll head back after this whole thing 

maybe I can build a damn town if I wanted to!"

"no shit really, well hell I'll just travel there or join a bigger gang

I'll make shore to visit town or not"

"maybe The Desert Rangers"

"do they shot shit to hell?"

"yep well no, maybe your rapist vibe might not go well with the rangers"

its not a vibe eggsucker! ( **egg-sucker** , a worthless animal, esp. a dog ] 1. (US) a worthless and unpleasant person.)

thought doing three girls aren't impressive

(well around here at least, thou Al looks like a virgin)

well hell maybe I will join up will the rangers maybe they'd give me a more badass gun

though maybe I should at least look at what they do and all 

"well goose its looking dark maybe you should sleep-and he's all ready in the sleeping bag

well Alastor, might just finish with the radio maybe someone's

has a radio station out here, well-damn! the radios audios muffled I'd be lucky to

find a never one and it might still be muffled, just stay in tune at least" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be honest compared to other AU's  
> this Al is probably the most inelegant and skilful  
> (I mean how else can he get a radio working)
> 
> Also I think this Al would dislike Charlie's white privilege  
> and lack of any signs of hard work  
> and hence respect Vaggie more
> 
> also goose is 16 and a dipshit


	6. A boy and his helldog

Me, Tom, Al and Malcom 

have been walking and looking for some group of rover's for days now 

I thought to my self of me just running off and heading west or north to a town or bombed out city 

why stay with them in the first place?

I don't know goddamn it, maybe Lablank has a radiant personality

or the fact that I might find some cool shit lying about in this desert 

then I thought on what the hell where thous things that tried to kill us 

they where human like but they ain't and like hell there mutants (too clean especially thous two the incest siblings)

and that grey bitch with the black eyes why had she come to that part of the desert 

where people (like me) would rob, kill and rape (not in that order) anything in a hundred mile radius

hell I know when to back off and just killing her was a smarter idea

where would my roverpak

(means group or gang its uncommon to say but people from in Kansas Oklahoma or New Mexico have a chance to say it as a term)

hope there in a better place, maybe just maybe

It was dark out I was guarding our camp

but then the night sky helped me notice a fire that was not far from here (maybe a mile or two)

I looked at our camp "they'll be fine" I said "just a few minutes then right back to camp 

maybe the fire is from the guys we're looking for 

so a dashed off to check

the camp had three dead body's placed every witch way 

well I'll tell them I found them and we'll go to that boss fellow and maybe get a chance to find a car 

maybe I'll just loot them so they will be less heavy to carry 

so I did just that until a tent start to ruffle and move

what came out of it was a grey human sized grey hound wolf (some mutant maybe)

holding some bottle maybe alcohol or just water (still good)

it/she spoke "why the hell are you"

now you may be thinking 'free ass me rape' well stupid I know when to buzz off and not go for it hell 

its been nine weeks since I've had sex so maybe think of it as an I don't care anymore part of my life 

"umm did your mama fuck a waste wolf or did you jump in a vat of nuclear waste as a puppy"

she was pissed at well both thous parts 

"What did you say you homeless shitbag!" fair but still 

how don't I die a painful death 

"umm here's a peace offering then" I handed her a old bottle of fruit wine one from one of the body's 

she looked like she was still going to kill me but less likely right now 

"fine, but if you insult me one more time-"

"I'm dead now can I have at least a beer or whisky if you have some"

she sat on a log next to the fire place, I moved to a stack of tiers 

"nope, just beer and wine"

she handed me a beer

"so dogmeat why are you here?"

"simple I have to watch the one with the scars on his arms"

"why?"

"yer, I'm wasn't born yesterday, I'm not telling you"

"fine then I'm leaving then I have to wake the others up and get there's dead body's

to a town days away from us"

"well if I helps these guy died an hour ago so if your fast they won't smell like one until you get to that town"

"heheheh, real funny dogmeat"

"first not a dog second its Loona"

"then what the hell are you then, a mutant wolf?"

"no dumbass a hellhound" 

"ok? so what the only things I've seen you do is being around the hight of a person and talking"

"fine, I'm done here anyway my boss will need me soon anyways"

"fine I'm going anyways to wake my friends up and get the here"

she got up and left to the darken desert night to god knows where

**Narrator**

it took the group days to head back to the scrap heap off a town 

and a movie was being played on a old projector when it started 

busting up and the film was stopping (Hang 'em High staring Clint Eastwood)

Al walked off to help fix it. it took a bit but when the lights where on and a gunshot was heard

they gave Alastor a free seat no payment and watch with a smile on his face 

Malcom whet to ask mr chow where we should berry the body's 

goose and Tom went to buy same of the weed that was being farmed as a job well done 

after berrying the body's mr chow had help his end and said to go north west to a old gas station should be a pile of old cars 

"look for a men named Barry tell him chow sent ya and he might jest give a car to you for free of charge, DIY may be needed"

everyone was fine with that offer maybe if the car brakes down Alastor might be able to fix it

so they left the town to go north west 

goose still pondered why the hellhound was watch Alastor 

but stay tuned 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know your asking   
> why would this Al like Clint Eastwood movies  
> my answer is that when Al was young (8 to 12)  
> he found a old cinema and try to fix the projector (witch took a week)  
> and he found some movies from other places   
> and the first ones that wouldn't fall apart  
> or needed to be re threaded every five minutes   
> where the man with no name trilogy


End file.
